Thursday, October 26, 2006

Sometimes the college-educated jersey cow flies into a rage.

SPAM. I usually just delete it, but today I read one. It was a bizarre conglomeration of words, forming complete sentences, but lacking any meaning. Either that, or it was just too poetic for me to comprehend. It was a stock market spam, recommending that I buy a penny stock which by week's end should be up nearly 400%. Anyway, the seemingly computer generated gibberish was good for a laugh. Parts of it were nonesense, and parts of it came across as pure brilliance. I'll let you decide which is which.

"Most people believe that the gentle umbrella often satiates a football team of another ocean, but they need to remember how seldom the geosynchronous light bulb takes a coffee break. If the cheese wheel sanitizes a spider, then an umbrella daydreams. A fundraiser goes deep sea fishing with the fundraiser over a bowling ball, or a blood clot buries the geosynchronous briar patch. Another girl scout related to a photon starts reminiscing about lost glory, and the shabby hole puncher writes a love letter to a defendant. Some single-handledly worldly pork chop reads a magazine, and the diskette hides; however, a mysterious fairy competes with the college-educated photon.
Some pickup truck inside the grand piano procrastinates, and a chess board for a buzzard hesitates; however, a mean-spirited jersey cow eagerly trades baseball cards with the briar patch. For example, the particle accelerator indicates that a bowling ball figures out the most difficult fruit cake. Most people believe that a turkey completely secretly admires a stoic blood clot, but they need to remember how knowingly the turn signal defined by an apartment building beams with joy. When a tabloid is gentle, the outer globule tries to seduce the inferiority complex. A grand piano around the ski lodge feels nagging remorse, but a satellite secretly admires an asteroid inside an ocean. Most people believe that a greasy cargo bay avoids contact with an avocado pit, but they need to remember how almost a chain saw ruminates. An umbrella for a warranty is highly paid. For example, a ball bearing related to the dust bunny indicates that a cab driver non-chalantly gives a pink slip to a judge inside a photon. When you see an asteroid, it means that a hockey player laughs out loud.
Another CEO inside a warranty takes a coffee break, and a so-called pickup truck leaves; however, a fundraiser beyond an ocean knows a roller coaster from a blithe spirit. When you see the wheelbarrow, it means that some carpet tack from a salad dressing starts reminiscing about lost glory. When the proverbial pine cone hibernates, a college-educated graduated cylinder wakes up. The freight train for a mortician has a change of heart about a satellite. Sometimes the college-educated jersey cow flies into a rage, but a wisely obsequious hole puncher always knowingly gives lectures on morality to a tomato!
Most people believe that a food stamp figures out a cowboy, but they need to remember how hesitantly an inexorably surly skyscraper gets stinking drunk. When the bullfrog reads a magazine, a salad dressing around a mastadon procrastinates. A briar patch is phony. An ocean, a vacuum cleaner over a corporation, and a blood clot of the buzzard are what made America great! When a parking lot goes to sleep, the power drill laughs out loud."

4 Comments:

Blogger A Horse(wo)man said...

baahhaha - amazing!
now, out of curiosity, i imagine i will open my spam more often...consequently, i blame you for the eventual plethora of viruses i will collect.
Btw, a very belated congratulations on the P. Eng! High Five!
Cas

12:16 AM  
Blogger Dave.B. said...

Thanks. It's actually not that belated, as I just received my Stamp on Wednesday. If anyone needs a passport application signed...

btw, nice work with the four horsepeople blog. you need a theme song.

3:01 PM  
Blogger Dave.B. said...

"When you see an asteroid, it means that a hockey player laughs out loud."
This is my new favorite random computer generated line from the post. Try to incorporate this into a conversation... Bonus points if used while actually stargazing.

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

brukes, i hope to be playing at st veronus in late january. i only hope you will attend and party down. matty

5:14 PM  

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